8 THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND IN REGARDS TO CONFLICT AT WORK/CHURCH

 I have posted something from Perry Noble before. You can go and check out his leadership blog HERE, but I just had to post this. When it comes to conflict in the church environment, you would think that everyone would know how to deal with it. A lot of times, it can be super messy. This is why I thought Perry Noble’s in how to deal with it is awesome. Read it and enjoy:

#1 – Email DOES NOT WORK!  (This would also apply to texting as well as any form of social media!)    

When conflict use to arise with me and someone in the office I used to walk to my desk, log on to my computer and fire off an abusive email, several problems with this…

• It is the act of a coward, I would do this so that I would avoid a eye to eye conversation.
• It removes the fact that I am actually dealing with another person…if I type an email I don’t have to look them in the eye and removing that obstacle allows me to say things to them through typing that I would NEVER say to them in person.
• It often drags out the conflict way longer that it should be.
• It can easily be misinterpreted, thus causing new conflicts.

#2 – Handle Conflict Quickly – The Bible is VERY clear in Ephesians 4:25-26 that we are not to allow the sun to go down while we are angry.  If we allow something to fester inside of us what usually comes out of that is NEVER pretty.

#3 – Always Assume The Best About The People You Work With – If you don’t get anything else in this article then PLEASE get this, LOVE ALWAYS ASSUMES THE BEST ABOUT SOMEONE…ALWAYS!  If you hate/can’t stand the people you work with then THE BEST thing to do is to begin to ask the Lord, “what is wrong with MY OWN heart?”

#4 – Remember that Email Does Not Work!  

#5 – Stop Expecting People To Read Your Mind – Often times people have said something hurtful to me that they did not perceive as hurtful.  I would become angry with them and actually tell myself, “well, they should just know that hurt me!”  NEWS FLASH – THEY DON’T KNOW, and they won’t know unless I am man enough to look them in the eye (because email does not work), assume the best about them (which automatically assumes they didn’t mean to hurt me) and CALMLY walk them through why what they said wounded me.

#6 – Stop Waiting For Them To Approach You – If you know there is conflict and you know there is a problem to be solved but you are “waiting on the right time” or “waiting on them to come to me” then I would encourage you to read what Jesus said in Matthew 5:23-24.  Maturity is when a person is willing to seize responsibility instead of just waiting on something to happen.

#7 – Never, EVER Go Public When You Have Not Even Attempted To Talk In Private – Too often people take their conflicts online when they have never even attempted to handle them in a private matter (sort of goes against what JESUS actually said in Matthew 18:15 as the first step in dealing with conflict!)  People are way too quick these days to read/hear something that someone says and automatically fire off a tweet or blog post without ever attempting to have a conversation with the person that they assume “got it wrong,” causing them to feel like they need to be the savior of the world by jumping to conclusions and making accusations about things that they actually have zero knowledge of.

#8 – And finally, do not forget that Email does not work!  

Ignite Conference: Eclipse

I am pretty excited to announce that I will be teaming up with some of my favorite people from a few different churches, from a few different student ministries, for a great night of worship here in September. Like I posted yesterday, there are no “others” in ministry. It is US, united. I have always wanted to partner up with other pastors and create a night where many groups, from all over, can come to one place and be encouraged that they are not alone, that other churches are doing great things as well, and groups can come together and worship.

In comes IGNITE. This is a team of pastors of a few local churches in the area who want to break the mold of “independent” groups by UNITING students and IGNITING the passion of Jesus inside.

This is not a ONE church thing. It happens to be at ONE church. But joining our groups together in worship is the first step in uniting our next generation of leaders from many churches in one place to first IGNITE their relationship with Jesus so they can unashamedly claim Him as Savior to the world. IGNITE exists to ignite a generation with a passion for Jesus, empowered by the Holy Spirit to live transformed lives, to accomplish the will of the Father.

It’s a FREE session on September 8^th, 2012, to start this journey of breaking down youth group barriers and start to join and work together. I would hope you would want to jump in. Here is a recap of last year:

For more information please go to http://www.igniteusnow.com

Shout Out Friday: Stop Critiquing and Start Creating, How to Defy and Destroy our Barriers to Change

This Shout Out Friday, I had to share this post from Donald Miller’s blog that I read the other day. I do not know why, but it hit a chord in me. And hopefully it does for you too. Enjoy this post and check out his blog at Donmilleris.com

 Today’s guest post is by Justin Zoradi, who runs an nonprofit called These Numbers Have Faces. Justin has guest posted before and I hope we hear more from him in the future. Today’s guest post is about creativity, but to me it’s also about maturity. Justin elaborates on some of the thoughts in Andy Crouch’s book Culture Making.

In an age where too many books aren’t new material, but critiques of whatever else is out there, Justin argues we need to mature from consumers to critics to creators. Great thoughts:

A good friend told me there are three types of people in the world:

1. Consumers

2. Critics

3. Creators

There was a time in my life when I thrived in my role as a Critic. I had an opinion about everything and spent many sleepless nights brooding over ideological arguments and creating fake debate scenarios in my head. It was mania, an obsession, fueled by the high of feeling “right.”

One day I realized that my very critical opinions were taking up a lot of time and making me a very angry person.

I also realized I was against a lot more than I was actually for.

Take politics. No matter who is in the White House, it’s easy to critique the policies of a President without having to constructively engage in the political process. I find it fascinating how many people have very strong political opinions but can’t name their local representative in Congress.

But if you look at the people who’ve made the greatest change in the world, they’re the ones who spent the least amount of their time as critics and consumers.

I believe human beings were made by a God who loves to create, and in his benevolence, he made us a lot like him. Whether 7 days or 7 billion years, God is at his best when he’s creating. So are we.

I also believe that people and the positions they hold can change. Which means it’s our job to try and move from a life of consumption and criticism and into a life of creative action.

Maybe you’ve already begun. If so, it’s your job to cultivate creativity in others.

This isn’t just for artists, activists, engineers, or entrepreneurs. I think everyone has the ability to create with great purpose. This is one of the reasons I’ve started this blog.

I believe ordinary people have the unique ability to impact the lives of others. And if you’re reading this with a few minutes to spare and high speed internet, you also have a moral responsibility to do so.

Work can be monotonous. Each day I try and put one thing on my to-do list that requires a fresh creative punch. Oftentimes this is as simple as a 10 minute phone call to bounce a new idea off a friend. I find this simple act of forcing myself to create actually invigorates all the other things I’ve been avoiding all day.

Some final thoughts:

Creativity is an exponential force. It produces better work that produces better work.

Creativity is also a repelling force. The more we create, the more it repels us away from the dangers of over consumption and over criticism.

Questions to ask yourself:

What moves you? What drives you? What infuriates you? And how can you creatively engage in a way that uses your innate gifts and abilities, instead of just responding as a critic or consumer?

Start today. The worst thing you can do is postpone your creative action until tomorrow.

– JZ

Shout Out Friday: Generation to Generation Youth Ministry

Today’s Shout Out Friday is from the guys I got to guest blog for from the post earlier this week on my blog. (Click HERE to check that post out.) Generation to Generation Youth Ministry is a great blog with some real, honest posts from two dudes who love the crap out of students and have some amazing insight to youth ministry. Be sure to check them out and enjoy this post from them titled “Good Example or Great Example”:

Tonight I had a phone call from the mom of one of my high school small group students. During the conversation she thanked me for being a good example for her son. After the call was over I began to think if I’m a good example, what could I change to be a great example.

When we decided to get into student ministry either as paid staff or as a volunteer I think that all of us agreed that we need to live our lives to a higher standard because we are an example to students of what a Christ follower is. None of us can be perfect all the time but there are things we can do to ensure that we are putting our best foot forward when it comes to being a good example.

I asked myself the following questions, ask yourself and evaluate your answers.

• Language  Am I careful how I talk, not just when students are around but all of the time?  – Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. – Ephesians 4:29 NLT
• Relationships  How you treat others is a big example to students of a Godly man or woman. If you’re in a relationship, is it Godly and pure? You can’t teach students about purity and saving sex for marriage if you’re not living it yourself. They will see right through you.
• Gossip  Don’t get caught in the gossip circle. Gossip is a sin that destroys ministries. If you’re not part of the problem or part of the solution then don’t gossip about it.
• Worship  Make sure that you are attending worship service on a regular basis and that you are getting spiritually fed. You can’t expect students to be church attenders if you’re not. Don’t spend so much timeserving Jesus that you don’t have time for Jesus.
• Quiet Time  It’s hard to get students to participate in a daily quiet time with God if you’re not doing it yourself. It’s also the way you stay connected to God. Pray for your students every day. Pray for your church and for your ministry. – Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. – Philippians 4:6 NLT 

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to just be a good leader, I want to be a great leader. Every now and then we need to stop and evaluate our lives, I did tonight and I know I have to make a few changes.

What do you think? What do you wish you did great? How do you take the first step?

Missions: Over Seas Vs. Local

Being in ministry, we all know The Great Commission.

Matthew 28:16-20

For the most part, we automatically think over seas. Which is awesome. Going on a mission trip and getting out of the United States is absolutely amazing and I would recommend it to everyone. Last summer I got to go to Africa and serve in the slums outside of Nairobi, Kenya, and it changed my life. I desperately want to go back one day. I truley believe eveyone needs to go over seas and serve on a mission trip, it really will change your world view.

But going on a mission trip does not mean only over seas. This week, we got to teach our students that going on a mission trip also means that we go only 30 minutes away for a few days and serve people right in our own back yard. Saddleback is in south Orange County, and we drove to north Orange County and spent 4 days serving people in the area. We hooked up with Christ in Youth who helped us find projects in our area. This trip was on these students spring break, which they paid to be at, and work their butts off… but they learned that living missionally is not only going over seas to serve, but it can be done right here and right now. We had a blast working together, talking to the people we were serving, and we had nightly services at night at a local Christian university where the students got to debrief the day, worship with music, and just have fun together.

We need to get away from the thought of living out the Great Commission is ONLY going over seas, but we can live in the way that God calls us to live, right here, where we are locally, and live in a way that He calls us to on a daily basis, not just on a trip like this.

They were challenged by our guest speakers to live in a way to show God’s love through our actions, in a way that when they went home, they would continue to do this type of work locally on a daily basis, constantly spreading God’s love through service.

Here is the video recap of our trip that one of our very own students made:

So I love both. Over seas and local. We are called to do both. Are we teaching our youth both? When we hear the words “mission trip”, what do our students think of? What do you do? Do you do both types of trips? Where do you go over seas? What do you do locally? 

Tell me.