I Don’t Fail, I Experiment

When it comes to ministry and trying new things I go all in. Our team goes all in. The moto when it comes to trying something we never have done before is, “The best idea wins. If it worked last year it doesn’t mean we NEED to do it again. If there is something better let’s do it.” Let’s be creative. Let God move. Plan something that would not work unless God came through. Failure is something that will always be probable I guess. But…

IN THE EYES OF GOD THERE ARE NO FAILURES, BUT FORCED GROWTH.

What we are so worried about? Failing. We don’t want to fail, it makes us look bad. No one wants to fail. The idea that in God’s eyes there is no failure, only forced growth, is encouraging. Every time we fail to do something, it helps us grow in some way, shape or form. Failure forces us to grow, helps us learn from our mistakes. We can take this idea in our faith journey and in our ministry.

Are we ever going to stop messing up and failing? No, sorry. We are human and that is what we happen to do. It is what we do AFTER we fail which will define us. If we just give up, we fail. If we don’t, it was just an experiment and research on the right way of doing it.

James 1:2-4

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

It’s More Than Obedience

OBEY! I don’t know about you, but when I hear that word at first, I cringe a little bit. Do what you tell me to do? Come on. But this word is essential to our faith as Christians. This word is more than just do what your parents tell you to do, it is more than a list of commands, it’s even more than a popular clothing brand, it is a word which is the essence of the Christian faith.

Obedience is defined as “dutifully complying with the commands, orders, or instructions of one in authority.” Even looking at this definition from the dictionary, we can see how this word fits right into the biblical definition God lays out for us. “Dutifully” means we are responsible to obey God, just as Jesus fulfilled His duty of dying on the cross for us. “Commands, orders, or instructions” refers to the Bible and all of the teachings God has laid out for us in this amazing book. “One authority” is God Himself whose authority overrides anything else in this world. For the Christian, obedience means complying with everything God has commanded because it is our duty to do so.

There is a difference in straight up obeying and the spirit of obedience.  If your parents gave you a list of things to obey and do and you just get it done because you have to do it, your relationship with your parents would seem like a burden because they just tell you to do certain things and if you don’t obey you will be in trouble. If you are obedient to them because you love and respect them and trust they know what is best for you then your relationship with them would be much closer because you obey them because you WANT to. Same with God, if you were to look at obedience like a list of things to get done because you HAVE to do them, of course you are going to resist it and think it is a burden. When you have the mind set of of love and respect for God, and have the spirit of obedience, you obey because you WANT to our of love for Him.

Because of Jesus, all of the Old Testament Laws and rules were fulfilled. Jesus calls all of us to a new law to abide to. A law He summed up in two commandments. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the prophets hang on these two commandments’” (Matthew 22:36-40).

We are not going to do this perfectly. We are imperfect people. But if we love God, we will obey Him to the best of our ability and have the desire to do so our lives will be evidence of that desire. When we love God and obey Him we naturally have love for one another. Obedience is commanded by God, it is a must, but not only because it glorifies Him, because His commands are best for us to follow. Obedience brings joy, comfort and peace in a world where such things are hard to find, mainly due to disobedience and rejection of God and His Word.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9-“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

John 15:14- “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” (Jesus’ speaking)

Galatians 5:13-14- For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

John 14:23-24- Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him, and make Our abode with him. “He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me.

Ask yourself:

• Am I obeying God? What has He prompted me to do that I have not yet done?
• What are things in my life that I have not listened to God about?
• Have I even been open to what God has to say about my life?

Today, pray:

• That God will give you the spirit of obedience.
• That you will serve and obey Him because you want to out of love.
• Others will see love pouring out of you because of your obedience to Him.
• For God to reveal anything in your life that He has called for you to do but you have not been obedient with.
• That you do those things He commanded for you to do.

When Students Are Being Butt-Heads

You think it sometimes, I just said it.

I do not really know how else to say it, but sometimes the only way to describe how we feel about some students: “You’re being a butt-head”. We love them to death. We pour our lives out to them and for them. We want nothing more to see them grow in their faith and walk closer with Jesus but their choices and attitude show otherwise. It can be tough because you know they have the capability to do amazing things but for some reason, they are doing dumb things, and as youth workers it breaks our hearts.

I just talked with a mom this week who’s son I am really close to and she was venting to me about how she wants her son to love Jesus so much and that he was doing so good in his walk with Jesus and then in one weekend everything changed and he made some pretty bold, not so smart moves and is slowly going down hill. She asked me if I can non chalantly spark up conversation with him and see what is going on in his life, which for me (I thought) would be no problem because we have done this numerous times while hanging out getting coffee or food. We have had a great, open, talks about anything and everything relationship. So I called him to see if he wanted to hang out and instead of jumping at the chance (like he normally does) he was short and rude with me and brushed me off. I tried to hang out with him a few more time and again, brushed off and more bad decisions.

So what do you do? What can you do? What do you do when your heart breaks for a student who has so much potential and they are not going that way at all? How can you minister to them even if they are pushing you away?

• Dont stop trying– We might seem annoying, but it’s important for them to know you have not forgotten about them. If they don’t show up for a while or are out of communication, a simple text, voicemail, or note will let them know you are still there for them and they will know this. We never want the reason for them not coming back is because they felt we as their leader forgot about them when they were far away.
• Dont stop praying– This sounds simple but it can get lost in the everyday business or ministry. Even just letting them know you are praying for them, and then actually pray for them will go further than you can ever imagine. Maybe God will work on their heart and prompt them to talk to you.
• Talk to their friends– If they wont talk to you, they talk to friends. For the student above, I went to one of his best friends in our group and asked him to minister to him because he would not meet with me, and it seems to be working. (I only did this because I knew this student was mature enough to do this. Make sure that student wont do more damage than not).
• Wait for them to come back– You can’t do much to help someone who does not want to be helped. So we wait. Like the prodigal son, we wait until they return and when they do, no matter how far they stepped away and what they did, you welcome them back with open arms and love on them. Hopefully they do come back, if not, repeat steps 1-3.

What are some other ways in which you communicate to students who all of the sudden want nothing to do with you or our group?

Grace Speaks Louder

Romans 5:20b-21- “But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

This verse has been haunting me all this week. I say haunting because when I think about it, I think about how bad I have been at this idea of extending grace more than being upset when someone sins continually against me. That is such a foreign thing for us because the normal reaction when people keep sinning against you and hurting you is to get angrier and more upset when they do so.

“But were sin increased, grace increased all the more”, what a thought. I realized we are extended this grace every single day in our lives from God. We sin every single day and instead of getting more and more mad every day, God extends more and more grace to us every single day because of His love for us. This is the greatness of His love for us.

Have you ever seen someone just have a peace about them when they are going through difficult times with difficult people? You ever wonder how or why they seem to have this peace about them? I believe it is because they understand this verse and live it. This is what makes them different, this is what makes them stand out and this is why people want to know why.

Sometimes the best witnessing tool is not our words, but how we deal with and handle things in grace. The more issues, the more grace. It stand out and shouts to the people around you what God does with us every single day. People respond to that. People notice that. People want that grace and to know where it comes from.

If we were to model this grace, I wonder what our lives would show for it. Probably would be pretty amazing. This is my prayer from now on.

HSM Weekend Videos

Some awesome videos we are playing this weekend. Pretty epic promos to get our students excited for HSM’s Halloween Party. Also, continuing our high school sports recaps, where we cover our local schools sports in one minute.

Videos are huge in our services. It adds a great dynamic to the service and with this generation that we preach too, nothing gets student’s attention like video. There is something about it that just makes them quiet and so focused.

Pumpkinfest Promo!

Sports Minute Vol. 4

Confrontation With Students: Calling Them Out In Love

As much fun as ministry is and can be there always is a time in which you need to confront a student with life choices they are making or they are being disruptive in service. Let’s be honest, no one loves confrontation. It can be very hard at times. Even though it’s tough it is important in ministry to handle conflict with students well. A confrontation handled well can help launch them into the next level of personal growth in life and with Jesus. A confrontation handled badly can cause way more damage to the situation than their was before you entered into the situation. Hence, the importance of handling conflict well.

I have had quite a few times where I have needed to confront and I thought I would write down some practical tips in doing so, and doing so well that is beneficial to both parties:

• Pray before- Seems obvious but if I do forget to one thing the most, it’s this one. It’s so easily overlooked but it really is the most important. There is nothing better than going into what can be a very difficult conversation than going in knowing that you went before the King and gave Him the situation before you even began with the student. I pray that He gives me the correct words to say in ministering to the student and discernment when counseling them.
• Be up front- There is no use to dancing around the situation. I would always try to “warm them up” before actually getting to the meat. As soon as they sit down, I lovingly let them know that I want to talk about something that can be hard to hear but it important because I love and care for them, then I go into it.
• Be on their side- Confrontation is exactly that when two people are going head to head. If you can’t confront someone with love and with a positive end in mind for them (redemption, restoration, growth), you shouldn’t be confronting them in the first place.  Remind them of this as well—that you’re on their side—and that you want to see this issue resolved in a way that everyone learns and grows through it.
• Go in private-  Go in private according to Matthew 18:15. A one-on-one conversation. If you cannot overlook the issue then attempt to resolve the conflict or misunderstanding by applying God’s principle of going one on one whenever possible. There is no benefit in calling them out in front of their friends after service or small group about something they have been doing (Finish reading Matthew 18 if one-on-one doesn’t get through).
• When it gets heated, slow down –When things get heated it can be really easy  to get revved up with them. The other week a had a student sit all the way in the back of the room when their was plenty of seats closer. We had the entire back blocked off and I went over and kindly asked him if he would be willing to move up to join us. With a rude response back that took me off-guard I asked him again to come up just to the last row of the blocked off area at least. More disrespect back, yelling back at me at this point about how he did not want to be there and didn’t know anyone and to leave him alone. I didn’t. Instead, I took a breath, sat down next to him, eye level, calmly said, “Have you ever thought the reason why you don’t know anyone is because you sit all the way back here? If you want to know people, I know almost everyone here, I will literally walk around and introduce you to everyone we come in contact with. Then you will be the most popular guy here. Even more popular than me. I’m not trying to be “that guy” to make you do something but I’m just asking you to move up a few rows so you’re not the only one back here.” With a different attitude, he said, “My name is Even” shook my hand and moved up. And after service we went around meeting people. It was awesome.
• Point Them To Jesus- Overall, you are to point them to Jesus. As ministers that is what we are supposed to do. We need to use these times of confrontation as teaching and learning for our students and for us as pastors as well. If we can leave the conversation with the students leaning on Jesus more, than it is a success.

What else would you put? Add to the list?

Books I Am Currently Reading and Learning From

It is funny. In high school I don’t think I read a single book all the way through. For all my book reports, I would literally make it up as I went and I would get passing grades. Not saying that is okay, I’m just stating what happened. Regardless, I love reading now. I’m what some might call an “Amazon junky”. I can’t stop.  I thought it would be fun just to post the books I’m currently in the middle of right now.

I read a chapter a day in each of them. I don’t know if that is the best way for me to retain information, but it seems to be working for me. Here they are in no particular order:

• The Next Generation Leader: 5 Essentials for Those Who Will Shape the Future– The Next Generation Leader has been challenging young Christians eager to learn, grow, and lead in ministry or in the marketplace since its original release in 2003. Now with an all-new look, this repackaged version continues to advance the mission of the first release. Mentoring young leaders as they face the unique issues of a changing world has been pastor and bestselling author Andy Stanley’s passion for more than a decade. Here he shares material from his leadership training sessions, developed to address essential leadership qualities such as character, clarity, courage, and competency. This is the perfect guide for any new leader—or for the mentor of a future leader!
• Unleash!: Breaking Free from Normalcy-Why is it that we trust Jesus with our salvation but never fully trust him with our lives? God longs to unleash his full measure of power in our lives to fill us with passion and purpose. But too often the things of our past—fear, anger, bitterness, worry and doubt—hold us back. Rather than focusing on the reality of who Christ is and what he has done for us, we allow ourselves to be identified by all the things we aren’t. But we are not who our past says we are, and we are not who the enemy says we are. We are who God and his Word say that we are. Pastor Perry Noble challenges all followers of Christ to make a bold move by fully embracing the exciting adventure God has called us to. Are you ready to unleash all the life he has created you to live? Join Perry on this journey as he digs into the major barriers holding people back and shows how Jesus calls and equips his followers to experience a life most of us never dreamed possible.

• The Power fo a Praying Husband–  Designed to accompany the powerful bestseller, The Power of a Praying Husband, this study guide helps men in their quest to pray more effectively for their wives. Through a variety of suggestions, examples, and thought-provoking questions, men will develop prayers that fit the circumstances of their marriage. Each week they will embrace the power to heal relationships, grow in faith, and accept the blessings of a life and marriage given over to God’s hands.

(I’m technically not a husband yet, but I will be in a month so I wanted to get ahead of the game.)

• Axiom: Powerful Leadership Proverbs– The best leaders not only lead well but also reflect on their leadership long enough and thoughtfully enough to articulate the philosophies that cause them to do so. Whether serving in the marketplace or in ministry, as executives or rank-and-file employees, as salaried staff or volunteer servants, good leaders can pinpoint the rationale for their actions and decisions with the ease of reciting their home address. In Axiom, author Bill Hybels divulges the God-given convictions that have dictated his leadership strategy for more than three decades as senior pastor of Willow Creek Community Church. Oriented toward four key leadership categories … 1. Vision and strategy (‘Promote Shameless Profitability,’ ‘Take a Flyer’) 2. Teamwork and communication (‘Obi-Wan Kenobi Isn’t for Hire,’ ‘Disagree without Drawing Blood’) 3. Activity and assessment (‘Develop a Mole System,’ ‘Sweat the Small Stuff’) 4. Personal integrity (‘Admit Mistakes, and Your Stock Goes Up,’ ‘Fight for Your Family’) … Axiom brokers accessible wisdom from one leader’s journey, as well as emboldens you to nail down the reasons why you lead like you lead.

What are some of the books you are reading and learning from? Which ones do I need to add to my reading list?

Guest Post: When A Bad Day Strikes

Not every day is an easy day in student ministries.  Anyone the is even two months in on a good internship can tell you that.  Well, today was a day and a half for me.  While I won’t go into why, I will go into what I learned from this difficult day.  Anyone can choose to do a tough day alone, with Jesus, or with their spouse.  Occasionally, going it alone will be okay, other times, one may suffer for choosing to go solo.  Moreover, moving through a difficult day with a team can also be varied in a few key ways.  Recently, the team that I am a part of, has been faced with a couple of rocky days- emergencies with students, families, and each other; all things that are normal in any church environment.

However, today was different in that the whole team was in the office, and we all dealt with the emotion of the situation at the same time.  For us, timing was key.

I learned a few things today:

1. It’s good to have a team that has your back.  Maybe your team is made up of staff in your department, or maybe it’s your church staff working as a team, or maybe your team is made up of elders and veteran volunteers.  Any of those options can make a great team.  If you don’t have a team, find one!  If you feel there is a rift in your team right now, be part of the solution to fix it!
2. Moments of honesty are healthy.  You need to have moments where you can speak freely with your team.  Be wise and don’t let this become gossip, because we all know that it can.  However, as a team, with trust and confidentiality, you should be able to be honest.  Speak your mind, vent if you have to.  If you don’t have some one to vent to, find someone pronto!
3. It’s good not be a workaholic.  While I am sure that the idea of being a workaholic is a blog post all in itself, being part of team and having people in your life that don’t let you become a “non-stop worker” is a good thing.  It means they care for you and don’t want to see you burn out.  Listen to them, and be willing to speak it back to them if need be.
4. It’s good to laugh together.  After our tough day, I sent a funny video around to everyone in hopes that they would laugh.  The winning idea is that there will be more bad days, not just one, not just ten, but MANY.  So if you take every shot personally, if you let it be the issue on every team members mind, your doing a disservice to the team.  Have fun- you know fun right!  We all need to have that now and then, especially after a bad day.
5. It’s necessary to take time to process.  Whether the struggles are related to volunteer leaders, students, or parents, make sure that you know the process or chain-of-command, to make sure that you not making it up as you go along.  When tough things happen, it is easy to be flustered and shocked, especially if it really is unexpected.  I know that every situation is different, but guess what, if you have some idea of what to do in a given situation, you at least have a starting point or a lead staffer that can delegate what needs to be done.

What do you think? What am I leaving out?  What do you do after a bad day at the office?  Share some tips and tricks for other youth workers like me to use for next time.  Trust me, there will be a next time, the only question is- Will you be prepared?

Justin Herman (@heyjustinherman)  is currently serving as the Director of Ministry for Jr. High at Mariners Church (@marinerschurch) in Irvine, CA.  Mariners is a large multi-campus church serving the people and needs of orange county.  Their vision is, “transforming ordinary people, into passionate followers of Jesus, courageously changing the world.” He has been in youth ministry for eight years in various roles from intern to full time.  His passion is students.  You can connect with Justin on Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/HeyJustinHerman) or on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/heyjustinherman) or follow his blog (http://heyjustinherman.com<http://heyjustinherman.com/>)

Missing Miracles

I have been reading through the Gospel of John lately, and in chapter two I found something that I never really noticed before that sort of stopped me in my tracks. John 2:1-7 says,

“On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, ² and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. ³ When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.”⁴ “Woman,^[a] why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.”⁵ His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”⁶ Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons.^[b] 7 Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim.”

We all have heard this story before. Jesus turns the water into wine. It is His first miracle that He does in public, but I do not want to focus on that. I want to focus on the servants who filled up the water jugs. Think about it, they were given the “blah” job. These were jars that held around 30 gallons of water EACH! It was heavy times six jars. Not a glorious job by any means but they did not say “This is not our job” or “This is not necessary”, they just simply obeyed and got to be apart of a miracle.

“His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”⁶ Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons.^[b] 7 Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim.”

By simply obeying Jesus by what seemed like a menial task the servants got to be apart of a huge miracle that launched Jesus into ministry and His name was spread. If we do what we feel Jesus is calling us to do, no matter how small and insignificant the task seems, we can have the opportunity to be apart of a miracle in someones life simply because we obeyed.

Doesn’t matter matter what it is, don’t miss out on a potential miracle because you thought yourself too good for a certain task. My prayer is that I always carry out what Jesus calls me to do, no matter the task, so that I may be able to be apart of the miracle to have His name spread like in John 2.

GUEST POST: Humble Beginnings

Recently I accepted the position of Saddleback Huntington Beach Student Ministries Director. I cannot begin to tell you how surreal that sentence is.

I come from a church in a small town where you are bound to run into at least ten people you know on a daily basis wherever you go. I had the honor of being the Jr. High Director for my home church for almost two years. I watched our ministry start with a handful of students and grow to 300+ in the course of a year. I’ve seen God do incredible things in our students lives on a daily basis.

Coming from a ministry where everyone “gets it” to a ministry where you have the challenge of starting from scratch really teaches you about humble beginnings. “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.” – Zechariah 4:10 NLT

I have the privilege of taking these handful of students back to the basics. I get to teach them why it’s important to read their bibles, why they should take notes, why they should serve, and why they should reach out to their friends.

Was it always an exciting feeling to start from scratch? To be honest… No. I knew it would be a challenge, but I also knew that God had called me to this and I also knew that He would be there every step of the way. I know ministry can be discouraging when you feel like students aren’t getting it, or when you feel like what you’re saying is going in one ear and out the other. I encourage you to celebrate the win.

What do I mean by that?

Every week I remind my students to bring their bibles and journals. For the first couple months I got nothing. The other day I had a student walk up to me and say “Hey Brenda! Look! I brought my bible and journal!” You better believe I celebrated that all morning! I even gave him a shout out during service for setting the example.

These things may not seem like a big deal, but to a ministry that is going back to the basics to build a solid foundation it is a huge step in the right direction. I celebrate that they stepped out and talked to someone. I celebrate that they invited a friend. I celebrate when they take notes. I celebrate the first time a student raises his or her hand in worship.

What gets rewarded gets repeated.

We may not be celebrating that we had 100’s of students show up on a Sunday morning (yet), but I am celebrating that they are making progress. If you aren’t moving forward then you’re standing still.

My advice to anyone in ministry: Celebrate the WIN. We so often as ministry workers tend to hear and fixate on the negative. I pray that we start recognizing that even if just one student gets something out of your weekly message then you’re doing something right and someone’s life is being changed.

Brenda Medina is the Student Ministries Director for Saddleback Huntington Beach. She is a lover of Christ. Encourager. Over analyzer. Writer. Reaching the next generation with passion and heart. Devoted to building up leaders, Brenda is available for any suggestions or comments.

Brenda Medina. Student Ministries Director | Saddleback HB

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