I love to be with and hang out with students. I love to spend time with them in our group in that setting. I love to hang out with them outside of the group in life as well. When I first got into ministry, it seems like I was always around and in their lives. All of that was happening and it was amazing but then it has cut back a bit.
What I have noticed it had been cut down ever since this one huge thing happened to me… I got married. Now before you get all crazy, I love my wife.
She is the best thing on this planet. I seem to have noticed that some of the younger, single, people on our team have all this free time that it feels like I used to, But I don’t anymore. I noticed that it’s mostly because I want to hang out and be with my wife and before we got married I would be out with students almost every night of the week it seems like. I asked myself whether or not if I was losing my youth ministry touch or even if I was caring as much as I used to. But then I realize that there’s different seasons in ministry and life circumstances that causes us to read evaluate how much time is spent where. Even though I’m not out as much as I used to be before I was married there are still areas in my life in which my schedule now shows them even more love, but I different type of love, than before.
Now I get to spend time with my wife and I get to be with her. My guys get to see me with her. I now have the responsibility to show them how to love and care for a wife. That’s something I never got to do before. By me not hanging out every night with them I’m showing them how tomake her a priority.Me showing them how to be a great husband is now one of the most important things I do and that’s something me being not married couldn’t do.
Even if my time is not as much as it was it does not mean the quality goes down. Now we are more intentional with our time together. Our small group mean more because that is a scheduled time where we both know that each one of us will be there and that time has gained way more depth within our group.
I have to remember I still can hang out with them outside group midweek and weekends. My wife is awesome and she knows and understands if their is an emergency with a student I have to go. If there is an event I can go and she will even come with, which is even better. Point is, I just communicate more. There is not more random nights (sometimes there are still, which are so fun) but I just need to be smarter with my time. Doing that I get to be with her and be with my guys.
At first I would get jealous of the younger dudes who get to hang out all the time. And part of me misses that. But I wouldn’t trade my wife in for it. Now I get to be with my students and show them love in different, more meaningful ways when we are together and this time in my life is a different sort of ministry that is not lesser of importance, but different. I can’t wait for the next one.