Our Job Is Not To Fix Students

March 27, 2013 — 4 Comments

I love my job. A lot. But there are some things about the job and ministry that are just hard to swallow. It is always a bummer when you hear something about a student you have poured in to, make a decision or go down a path that you have, for what seems like you have talked about over and over, go the opposite direction.

Just the other day, my co-leader for our small group and I got a text from a mom. She just vented her concerns about her child, which is awesome she is letting us know, and she ended with, “Know I don’t expect you to fix him, I just wanted to let you know.” Which is a big thing for us I believe. My co-leader is new to ministry, this is first year leading a group and he just happened to come into the office to talk about how to respond to something like this. It ended up being a great conversation and training for him. I thought I would share some point from our conversation:

  • Our job as leaders is not to “fix” students, but be there to guide and teach them to follow Jesus so when our time is done with them they can and know how to be a follower of Jesus.
  • It’s huge for us, as leaders, to have the in and trust with our parents. They are with our students longer and for more time than we are during the week. They will know more and for them to be able to come to us with concerns and the insides of the family is a big deal we cannot take for granted.
  • I don’t want to go to the student with the info from the parents (in most cases) because I want him to feel like he can trust me, not conspire against him with his parents. But I can lead the conversation to see if he will talk about it with me.
  • A student will only share what they want to share. You cannot force it.
  • We need to be there and available for them when they finally do want to bring it up. And be loving while we do it.
  • My co-leader and I can do a better job at partnering with our guys parents and are going to figure out how we can do so.
  • More one-on-one time leads to better and deeper conversations with a student.

I’m sure there are more that we talked about and that can added. I just thought I would list some of the stuff we talked about today. What else would you add?

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4 responses to Our Job Is Not To Fix Students

  1. 

    thank you so much for this post. Really needed it. Also a new ministry leader and sometimes it feels like I have to “fix” all the students and all of my friends, and it becomes frustrating and tiring. So this post was very helpful. Leande Strombeck(South Africa)
    Sent from my BlackBerry®

  2. 

    leading young people must be incredibly challenging. You have my respect.

  3. 

    the more history a small group leader can develop with a student, the more the student will go to that leader when they feel like life is history or something needs to be “fixed”….I always tell my leaders, it’s not your job to change them, just love them.

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